


Cans, Plans, and Awkward Cultural Misunderstandings

by planet_plantagenet



Series: Dave and Karkat (and the Mayor) on the Meteor [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Assumed Relationship, Can Town (Homestuck), Gen, Meteorstuck, Present Tense, Sign Language, there isn't enough stuff about the mayor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2018-06-05
Packaged: 2019-05-18 16:00:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14855807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/planet_plantagenet/pseuds/planet_plantagenet
Summary: In which the Mayor oversees the further development of Can Town, and makes some speculations about his companions' relationship.





	Cans, Plans, and Awkward Cultural Misunderstandings

Can Town is coming along quite nicely, the Mayor thinks. It was a good idea to set it up in one of the meteor’s largest storage spaces. For one thing, no one ever uses this room, so it’s an ideal place to work without being disturbed. Second, the room has direct access to some of the smaller storage areas. The Mayor has been making plans for expansion ever since the Bean Suburb got just a little too big for its allotted corner. Dave has drawn up the plans on the northern wall (if “north” can even really be considered a concept in a place where the nature of reality itself is constantly in question) in brilliant red chalk. The Mayor has to remember one of these days to thank Terezi for her kind donation. She has only tried to steal back the red chalk twice.

The Mayor assigns Dave to the westward expansion and Karkat to the east. He feels bad about separating them, but figures that it will be more efficient this way. The western plans are arguably the most important—the Mayor has decided that what the town needs is a proper hospital. It will be very large, so as to accommodate the needs of all citizens, and will of course be free to the public. (Dave mentioned once that in the country where he grew up, citizens needed to pay for their healthcare. The Mayor has never heard a more preposterous idea.)

Karkat is in charge of the aforementioned enlargement of the Bean Suburbs. Just this morning, the Mayor decided that all varieties of cans are welcome to live in the Bean Suburbs, not just types of beans. After all, it just wouldn’t be fair otherwise.

After a quick break to alchemize some snacks, work begins again. Rose follows Dave into the storage room, her eyes sweeping the enormous progress that the team has made in just a few days.

“Mayor,” she says finally, “this looks fantastic. May I offer a suggestion?”

The Mayor perks up, setting down the can of peas he’s been inspecting. Rose’s suggestions are always thoughtful and worthy of consideration.

“I notice that Can Town has no library. Are you planning to add one?”

He considers this. “Yes,” he signs to Rose. “You’re right; that would be an important addition.”

Rose glances at Dave, who hastily translates the Mayor’s Carapacian Sign Language. Long gone are the days when the Mayor had to rely on text to communicate—his friends have surprisingly quickly picked up his native language, and while they certainly aren’t fluent, they manage to understand him very well.

Rose nods, smiles, and leaves. The Mayor turns back to his duties.

Usually Dave and Karkat work on the same area of Can Town, talking and laughing and bickering and insulting each other. Today, however, the rooms feel a little too silent. There’s just the shuffling of feet, the clink of cans against each other, and the incessant mutterings of Dave, that the Mayor is sure would be quite interesting could he actually hear them. Once in a while, Karkat curses loudly.

Eventually, the Mayor decides that silent time is over. Dave and Karkat obviously want to work together. They’ve been stealing glances at each other for the last hour or so. They agreed to work seperately at first because they understand the need for efficiency, but things are starting to get a little dull for them, the Mayor reasons.

The Mayor waves to get Karkat’s attention. “Karkat, I think the Suburbs can wait. Perhaps you should help Dave with the hospital and surrounding areas.”

“Right.” Karkat stands, making his way down the central road toward the western room.

“I thought you might have been lonely,” the Mayor explains as he catches up with them.

Karkat laughs—a little too loudly, as always. “Lonely?? More like some goddamn peace and quiet. Just me and the cans.”

The Mayor can’t help but smile. “I am sure the cans appreciated your presence very much, but I’m sure your boyfriend will appreciate it even more.”

Karkat freezes. His cheeks become red, and he glances over at Dave, who is busy with his construction.

“ _What_ did you just say?” he hisses, keeping his voice lowered as if he doesn’t want Dave to hear him. As always, it doesn’t work. Dave turns around, and Karkat mutters, “ _Shit._ ”

“Did I say something wrong?” asks the Mayor. It’s probably some sort of misunderstanding—there have been plenty of times when he’s accidentally made a rude gesture, and Dave and Karkat have called him out on it. But this time feels a little different.

“Uh.” Karkat clumsily repeats the sign for _boyfriend_. “I think I might’ve misunderstood this one—”

“Is that—” Dave begins, bemused, but Karkat shooshes him.

“Shut the fuck up. It’s nothing.”

“I’m sorry,” the Mayor says. Clearly there has been a translation error. “Would _matesprit_ better characterize your relationship?”

 _“Absolutely not!”_ yells Karkat.

“Wait, do you—?” Dave looks at the Mayor, understanding dawning on his face. “Does the Mayor think we’re dating?”

“Apparently so!”

“Are you not?”

“No,” say both Dave and Karkat, at the same time, a little too quickly.

The Mayor is confused. This is an unexpected development. “But I made sure to read the relationship section of the etiquette book very thoroughly. I didn’t eat any of the pages. I was sure that—”

“What the fuck does that mean.”

He ignores Karkat’s interjection. “The book said that when two people are dating, they often spend lots of time together, engage in shared interests, and maintain close physical proximity, all of which the two of you also do.”

Dave forces out a laugh, but he looks a bit horrified. “Dude, that’s not what dating is.”

Oh dear. It has been a while. Has the Mayor really forgotten the book that quickly? That would be quite an embarrassment. And maybe he needs to read the troll etiquette book as well.

“I am not an expert,” he signs, hands moving quickly and awkwardly, “but I could have sworn that your feelings for each other were romantic.”

Dave and Karkat both explode.

“What?”

“No way.”

“We’re just bros.”

“Where the fuck would you get that idea.”

“We’re both boys.”

Karkat turns on him. “Why would that matter!”

“Uh, because I’m not gay?”

“Oh, you too, huh??”

“What, are you?”

“I still don’t even understand what that means, fuckass—”

Usually the Mayor lets them go on like this for a while, but today, it’s an argument that he caused, and he has to make amends. He waves his arms until they shut up and look at him.

“I think,” the Mayor says, slowly and carefully, “that there may have been a misunderstanding.”

“Oh, really,” mutters Karkat.

“I would like to apologize.”

Dave scratches the back of his head. “Uh… it’s no problem really. No need to be sorry about it.”

“Hey, how about we just go back to Can Town?” Karkat grabs a stray can and tosses it into Dave’s lap.

“Yeah. Sounds good.”

They fall silent once more. The two of them still look awfully embarrassed.

Secretly, the Mayor suspects that he may be correct about their feelings for each other, however hard they may try to hide it. He won’t press them on it, though. They’ll figure it out eventually.

Or he may just be interpreting the situation wrong once again, due to his relatively poor understanding of social interactions. That, he decides, is the more likely possibility.


End file.
